Harrys happy revenge chapter one
by crocket
Summary: Harry is not happy this takes place after harry's first year my idea is Harrys not happy being told to go back to hell i mean his family . i would also like a beta reader to help me with my storys please get in contact if interested
1. Chapter 1

The characters in this story do not belong to me .Sadly I shall be making no money on this either .I hope this story amuses and delights you even if it is short .

Most of the people portrayed in this story belong to J k Rowling .Thanks for reading.

**HARRY' S REVENGE **

Harry was fuming .He had saved the stone he had saved the schools reputation and still he was being punished and sent back to the Dursly's .

How was life fair or even how was his life breaking even .Well if they wanted to ruin his life sod them he would return the favour .

He sat down and started to plan .His inner Slytherin started to work and all the years off the Dursly's suddenly started to pay of in an unexpected way .

Harry snuck down the stairs and went into his old bedroom (commonly known as a broom closet ) .He grabbed his trunk and his broom ,put his invisibility cloak on and left number 4 privet drive for the last time .

The Headmaster was not happy his little toys were waking him up things spinning whining and some even snorted smoke .All this and the after the little sods have left school party had given him a migraine .He took a dreamless sleep potion and went off to slumber land his last semi conscious thought was "_why are the wards down on Harry's house_?"

Harry had with very little trouble found a place to sleep .All he needed to do was go to the local park and kip down in one of the children's fun houses. When he woke up he had a little problem . **Money** .All he had on him was a few Galleon's left over from school. He Smiled Galleon's were made of gold and so were old Dubloons or something. All he could remember was hearing on the news once that some farmer had found some in a field .

He got ready and made his way to the town centre. After a bit of wondering around and asking a few people he found a jewellers and went inside he asked if they brought old coins but they didn't. They could however point him in the direction of a pawn broker who might and another jeweller who would .So of he went and soon found the shop he was looking for the jewellers was closer so he tried them first he had no trouble pretending a galleon he had on him was one he had found in a field and changed it to pounds. It was amusing to watch the jeweller trying to be subtle .With questions like "and you was camping in what field ? " With pounds in his pocket and food in his belly he went onto phase two of his plan .(which he had cunningly called "_the stick it to __**them**__ plan_ " yes he knew he shouldn't watch Blackadder but it was so funny ).

Next Diagon alley .He had only been once and was stumped then he remembered a second year talking about how they had hurt their head on the nightbus .All he had to do was remember how they said it was summoned .He rose his hand in triumph "yes " he smiled and found a small deserted car park and stuck out his wand .A load "BANG" and a strange triple decker bus was in front of him .

Stan got off the Nightbus and started his speech "Welcome to the "and stopped as Harry spoke "hum I wonder do you go to Diagon alley " .

Stan looked at the scrawny kid in front off him and smiled "we do " .The boy smiled "this is so cool " and held out his hand and smiled "Harry Potter nice to meet you " .Stan smiled and was about to say something when he saw the scar the world famous scar. He moved to one side and started to list the prices Harry smiled and "How much to ride around for a while as I not in a hurry and would love to see other places first .Oh I would also like the hot chocolate ".

Stan was stunned "how long do you want to ride around for ?" .

Harry thought for a while then smiled "well about till 10 am if that's okay .You seem to have such an interesting job .If you have time could you tell me more about it please ?"

That was it for Stan he smiled said 3 galleons found Harry the most clean and comfy chair got him the biggest mug of hot chocolate he could and as after two stops Harry was the only one on board he sat next to him and happily told him all about the Nightbus .

At first Harry had only said it to be kind to Stan as he looked a bit simple but he soon realised he had hit on a goldmine and decided to incorporate it into his master plan .

Harry got off at the leaky cauldron said hi to Tom and went into the alley .

Harry's first stop was the bank .He went up to a Goblin teller "hi I would like to go to my vault and would also like to speak to someone about my banking investments and such " he handed over his key and the Goblin looked at it .

"Not a problem Mr--- " harry held up his hand and stopped the Goblin from going on .

"What happens in the bank stays in the bank if that's the case how will telling every one I am here let my present whereabouts stay in the bank " .The Goblin looked at him nodded and called for a Goblin to take him down to his vault .

On the way down Harry innocently asked about {**the break- in}** he had read about .The Goblin looked daggers at him "we never caught them but when we do …." he grinned showing all his teeth .Harry smiled .

"Is there a reward for information and such ?" .

The Goblins whole attitude changed and he looked feral ."If you know something about it you had better say something ". Harry laughed and lifted his hair up.

"I defeated wankermort do you really think you scare me ? " .he looked the Goblin in the eye and said "now about these rewards how do you go about claiming them ?".

The Goblin took a breadth and told him about forms and such like also saying if Mr Potter liked he could get said forms while Mr Potter sorted out his vault .Harry agreed this would be best as he was going to see his account manager in a while ,any way .

The Goblin went to get some forms and Harry looked at his gold and asked himself the hundred Galleon question: "why the hell had he not took more when he first came here ? He could have had clothes he could have had one them cool multi compartment trunks, he could got all sorts of cool stuff stuck it into his trunk and when he went back to the Dursley's, he would have had food to spare stored in it .A quick "this is a magic trunk with magic protection on it and if you touch it you will die a horrible death " would have kept his family—er ,{the tossers} he lived with away from it .Now he needed to know what he had and what he didn't have also were the hell was his parents wills ?".

The Goblin guard ran to his superior and told him what Mr Potter had hinted at and what Mr Potter had said .The sarcasm when he said the "Mr" part could have been parted with a knife. How he hated wizards and their attitude .His superior was no better but the Potters were well-liked, and this one was famous as well as popular so he decided to get in touch with the Potters accountant .

Harry sat amongst his Gold and laughed at his image of Vernon when he found out Harry had more than enough Gold to buy his House and his works company and then just laid back and relaxed in the coins .

20 minutes later he got up and with money in his pocket left the vault .The Goblin was already there and handed him a few forms .Harry raised his brow as he read some of the questions .Looked at the Goblin and smiled this time showing all his teeth "I see so this form is mainly threats against me if I fail to disclose what I know . Question one: do you know what happens to people who do not give us information we require?". He looked the goblin in the eyes and pulled out a pen "yes they withdraw all their money ,tell the papers how rubbish Goblin banking and standards are and move to a non- magical bank .Lets see he carried on,"question two . Do you know how many wizards it takes to fill a Dragons belly if they do not come forward with information pertaining to the bank?" Harry smiled again and lifted his pen "fewer than it takes with Goblins who have failed to protect their customers' money and rights ."

The Goblin was not happy this wizard was not cowed by the forms and was not intimidated like others as each threat was answered the answers did not make the Goblin feel any better .With the last question done Harry looked at the Goblin and casually stated he was ready to see his account manager .

The accounts manager was not happy as he read the form in front of him .The way the Pinkskin smiled was not good either he could have sworn this Pinkskin was part Goblin .Harry smiled and watched the Goblin in front of him .

"OK "Harry said "first would you explain why I never have received a bank statement?.You then can explain why I have never be told of what's in my parents will .We shall follow that up with what ever Questions my parents' will brings up ." The Goblin suddenly looked worried "Oh", harry went on, after the will and question time we shall have a discussion on why there seems to be less money in my vault than when I first came here ,and yet I have not given anyone permission in all my 11- nearly 12 years to ever remove one Knut from my vault or any other property I own ".

Now the Goblin was worried ,and the answers on the document in front of him made more sense. Sadly he knew"THE BOY WHO LIVED ", was more popular than the Goblins , so the basic answer was {_they were in it up to their necks_.}

He opened the Potters' will and blanched. "Hum ,Mr Potter could you tell em er were you live ?"

Harry smiled "I am of no fixed abode as my aunt at number 4 privet drive kicked me out " Harry's feral grin returned "I am hoping to move to my parents house and hire myself some help... .Why ?"

Now the Goblin looked at the form in front off him and kissed his easy life and maybe his whole life away .

"Mr Potter it seems that a certain Mr Sirius Black is your legal Guardian and it seems that a certain Mr Peter Pettigrew was your parents secret Keeper , it also would appear as your legal guardian is currently being illegally held in prison after he had no trial or was never questioned under truth serum ."

Harry sat bolt upright at this and looked the Goblin in the face "who was supposed to see my parents will was read and followed through with? and where are they now ?" .

The Goblin squirmed "umm, it was my father and a Mr Albus Dumbledore "

Harry cracked his knuckles and smiled he lifted up a page they had asked him to fill out .

He smiled "Question 29 what will you do when we freeze all money for not being honest with the bank and helping us with our inquiry's? I shall be as honest as you are and I **shall** be more than happy to go to a muggle bank and the newspapers with any and all information. I shall also be more than happy to see all the goblins involved in any cover-up fed to a **bloody big **hungry dragon ." He looked at the Goblin in front off him smiled and said in a sweet innocent kiddy voice :"Hows your Daddy **taste**? .Oops ,I mean how is your Daddy's health ? Are the Blacks important to your banking ?" Still smiling he went on :"yes a think a visit to the police will be in order as well as to the press and the Aurors."

The Goblin sat there and very nearly filled his pants .

Thanks to reviewers that pointed out errors to me

Who knew that you couldn't have a whole sentence as one word .So thanks for the hard work and believe me if you knew how bad my spelling and grammar are you would know it hard work.


	2. Chapter 2

Yes none of the people belong to me and I still skint so I not making any money from this either. Please enjoy your reading .Thanks to J K R for inventing the Potterverse. Please if any beta reader interested in helping would get in touch it would be appreciated thanks

**Harry's Happy revenge chapter two **

The Goblin trembled his dad had messed up **big** time and now .He fainted as all the repercussions hit him .

Harry sat there and laughed it looked like the Blacks were important and he knew it was time to be as Snape said so many many times "_an attention seeking brat_."He calmly opened a tin of drink and waited for the Goblin to come round. He however did not miss the opportunity to have a quick look at the papers on the Goblins desk. What he found did not make him feel very happy at all or very kindly disposed towards Goblins Dumbledore or the ministry.

The Goblin come round he shook his head trying to clear it it was impossible no a bad situation had been made worse.

Mr Potter was being kicked by several Goblins who were screaming about attacking and knocking out a bank employee. As the Goblin roused himself he shouted for them to stop but they had their blood up and didn't. He rose unsteady to his feet and dragged some of the Goblins of Mr Potter .

Harry sat up when the kicking had stopped and tried to smile the missing teeth swollen eyes and broken nose did not make this easy ."_**Oh boy!**_ am I going to sue the shit out you lot?" He staggered out the room and into the foyer. Leaning heavy on the walls and door for support.

The Goblin sat down and hoped some of his clan might live but he really really doubted it ."**Why**, why, why ,did you just beat the hell out of Harry Potter, heir to the Potter and Black estates .Lord of Gryfindor estates part owner of Hogwarts and a member of the Wizengamot?"

" The Goblins looked stunned "_hum_, he attacked you and when we brought tea in, we saw you unconscious and, " the Goblin, held up his hand" I fainted after realising the bank owes Mr Potter millions of galleons and on top off that, we had just threatened him before finding out who we were threatening. Now you have just beat up....._**oh god**_ ,oh god ." They knew it was bad ,but when he showed them what Mr potter had just been reading to him (the press, Auror, and the police comment ),they knew the clans involved were dead .

Harry staggered out the bank drawing many looks and headed over to the nearest copper {Auror} and practically collapsed at their feet. He just said "Goblins beat me up in bank " and flashed his scar as he passed out.

Sadly the Auror {copper}was one of fudge's pets so went running to him first. When asked if The- Boy-Who-Lived was Okay in St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Ailments and Injuries,the Auror blanched and confessed he had forgotten and left him in the waiting room .

Fudge replied "okay best get back to St Mungo's and make sure he seen and you are seen with him. Just say you rushed to inform me about the incident if they ask why you left him alone."

The Auror blanched "no, no I I left him in your waiting room."

Harry came round and realised he was not in a hospital. He got up and staggered away .{_Screw the_ _Wizarding world } _he thought to himself. If this was how **he** was treated ,then he was going to do the same back .He staggered off into London and to get a cab to the nearest Hospital .Several hours in Hospital and having stitches and several injections done he left not a happy person but a much wiser one.

He didn't know about the search for him and if he had ,he probably wouldn't have cared .He found a nice little Café and sat down with pot of tea . He got hold of a pen and bit of paper and decided to write down his priority's were .

1/ get Sirius out jail .

2/ get Dursleys into jail .

3/ get Dumbledore back and **maybe** into jail .

4 / get clothes ,house and food sorted out in both magical and non -magical worlds

5 / get the Goblins in as much crap as he could .

6 / screw over the Auror's and magical government out off every thing he could and make sure public booted the one responsible out of office and into jail.

7/ find out about who and what he could get out off this with publicity and make sure Draco and Snape suffered .

Rufus Scimgeour was not happy. An Auror had ran to the minister ,and left a injured **Harry Potter** in a waiting room at the ministry then had failed to report what had happened and how Mr. Potter came to be injured .On top of that Harry had vanished .The young Auror in front of him stood tall but was not so proud .

"He came up to me and he said the Goblins had beat him up I thought {_as he fa_m_ous I should tell the minister at once} _I know it was a mistake bu_"_

Rufus held up a hand stopping him "And forgot to file a report ,take him to St Mungo's, or see if there were any witnesses ," Finished his boss ."Badge, cloak .Your on probation when you get back .**If **you get back .Disciplinary Hearing will be as soon as I can arrange it. I just hope Mr Potter didn't have internal injury's **because** if he did you **will** face a man slaughter charge of a Wizarding Hero ." As he said that it hit the Auror just how much his butt- kissing might have cost him .If he was lucky he would get kissed by a Dementor ,if not Azkaban and Dementors for the rest of his natural life.

He fainted.

Rufus looked at him and just shook his head .Then he realised what this meant for him and his aspirations of becoming minister of magic . His secretary came in and found both men unconscious and called for a medic .

Cornelius Oswald Fudge was to stupid to faint if he had ,it might have saved his job ,or at least kept himself from getting hurt so much, but as it was ,**he** decided to call Lucius Malfoy .

Lucius Malfoy sat and listened in rapture as he planned on becoming the new minister of magic. A ll he needed to do was give Fudge a few bad ideas and then sort the mess out with his wealth ; he knew the Goblins would listen to him .He smiled ."Cornelius, my friend ,I am so glad you came to me with this. I think you should floo over and we can talk about how to make the most of this terrible situation ".

Cornelius couldn't help but think Lucius had an almost shark- like smile .Sniggering to himself, he thought, " Lucius is most probably working out how to make Rufus and Albus look incompetent and my be put a foot into politics ." It would amaze him he was nearly right but then again a broken watch is right twice a day .

The first Dumbledore knew anything was wrong was when a happy looking Fudge made him a fire call ."It's terrible ,Albus the Wizarding hero treated so poorly what shall we do ?"

Albus tried to look innocent he knew Harry had a rubbish home life and had to change the memory's of a couple of social workers, but he had hoped the Wizarding world would never find out about that.

As they were speaking at cross purposes the advice the gave and received was not the best . Albus thinking of Harry's illegal housing arrangements and the minister speaking of the Goblin bank incident.

Albus looked at minister Fudge "I think it best if you come through Minister "

.Fudge smiled "I have Rufus with me; as head of the Auror's, I thought he should be involved ".

Dumbledore smiled outwardly and cursed his luck "Of course ,please, both of you come through. I shall call for some tea and cake " .He stepped back and called for a house elf and ordered some tea and cake as the fire burnt bright green and Fudge and Scimgeour stepped out of the fire and into his office. Both took time to clean the ash of themselves.

Harry had an idea: to fight evil, sometimes you needed evil ,and he was against the Goblins who beat him up for no reason, Dumbledore who sent him to hell, the Auror who dumped him in a ministry waiting room and never took him to a Hospital ,and the incompetent ministry who had illegally imprisoned his legal guardian ,thereby sentencing him to hell on privet drive .So he rubbed his forehead had another sandwich and headed back to the magical world .or at least to the leaky cauldron .

Fudge was ranting and after years of it, Dumbledore stopped listening after a couple of minutes . He decided to cut his loses, apply for guardianship of Harry, and have him live at the castle ."Well minister ,I think the only thing to do is arrest them responsible and make sure Harry is well, after being looked after by some medical personnel. "

Rufus sat there dumbfounded arrest the Goblins? Did Dumbledore want a rebellion? He couldn't believe what he was hearing .

"Then," Dumbledore went on, "after Harry has recovered ,I think he should get a better guardian. maybe he could stay here for a while; Poppy is familiar with him and he knows the school." He smiled and offered a lemon drop .

The Minister and head Auror looked at each other, thanked him for his advice and left .As soon as they got to the Ministers office they looked at each other ," the Minister

started, "but does he really think I am so stupid as to ask you to arrest goblins without knowing the full story?"

Rufus looked at the Minister and shook his head ."Does he think I am so stupid as to follow such a stupid idea .Maybe it is time we studied how many hats he should wear, as I am beginning to think his age is getting to him ." They nodded to each other and Rufus left. Leaving a confused and somewhat happy Fudge behind after all Dumbledore could never become minister after **this** incident.

Meanwhile, the Goblins were in a bit of a pickle because they knew they had failed to protect not one but **two** heads of noble houses who also were two members of the Wizengamot ,and one was the heir to Gryfindor; and through his defeat of Lord Voldemort could ,if he tried be head of the house Slytherin was well, and that would make him half owner of Hogwarts .The Blacks were not known to be nice to their enemies and Sirius had a lot of reasons not to like **them** .

A cough caught the Potter's account managers attention he turned and looked at a shaking files clerk ."Headmaster Dumbledore withdrew roughly 150 thousand galleons from the Potter vault and used it to pay for the Dursley family to look after Mr. Potter …...Um ,Mr Dumbledore was never given permission to use the Potter vaults by anyone who did have permission to delegate him that right. It seems the Dursley family house was paid for by Mr. Potter and Mr. Dumbledore has been paying them the equivalent to £150,000 a year to look after him."

The Potter manager breathed a sigh of relief "oh well as long as he was, well-fed and clothed then it ..."

The shaking of the clerks head stopped him "his first Hogwarts letter was to the {**cupboard under** **the stairs**} and his medical history reports long periods of starvation and neglect ."

The potter manager fainted again along with several of his clan .The stronger ones hoped this was the worse of it .

Sorry for short chapter hope you like next Harry and his hiring of the ultimate evil .

I Have started chapter 3 and also done some odds and sods for later chapters .

Thank you for your time.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry's Happy revenge chapter three.

Nothing but any unknown characters belong to me J,K,R owns the rest

Thanks to beta Lanie McCoy

Harry wondered around London for a bit a bit and found himself a B+B {bed and breakfast} .He booked himself in and just told the owner { his Parents would be arriving later}as they were both at work but had just dropped him off .As he paid cash and a month upfront this was good enough .When asked how he came to be so beaten up he told about being mugged that why his parents where moving away from the area they now lived and why they were at a B+B as they were going house hunting soon as this was several miles from their present house this made more sense than so much extra travel. He was shown his room and what room his parents would be using and then left alone .He Was made Breakfast in the morning and then left saying he just going to get to know the area .He also asked for a card so he could phone if he got lost or get a taxi back .So off he went .

Harry nearly made it to the leaky cauldron but he needed the toilet so he popped into a café to use theirs .He did not know it then but it was a life changing moment .He was told he would need to buy something before he could use the loo .So he ordered a sandwich and a cup of tea .Then ran to the loo . When he came back he sat down and started on his sandwich when something on the TV caught his attention .

It was a simple thing an advert but it made a light bulb glow above Harry's head as he thought of the possibility's .He decided then and there to get himself a lawyer or two .He made a note of the number finished his sandwich and tea and left .

He was about to dial the number from the advert when he remembered the secrecy policy "bugger, bugger, bugger " he mumbled to himself "_how the hell am I supposed to to to_ " .A smile light up his face .The sorting hat wanted him in Slytherin .His smile would have given any doubters a clue as to why .

He hated the wizard world but was he the only one he smiled no he was not he remembered Ron saying about his uncle who was an accountant that they had nothing to do with . Harry was not sure if it was because he was an accountant and lost the Weasley's money or if it was because he was a squib .Harry decided to find out and called directory inquiries .He gave them as much info as he could remember and was soon on the phone to Mr. Weasley .

"HMM hello sir my name is Harry Potter . I am friends with a person called Weasley and wondered if you was related to him ". The man on the other end just replied " This is a business not some get together reunion number ."

Harry cut in "Sir I have business that does involve accounting I just wish to verify who you are and if you are the right person for me to be speaking to." There was a short pause.

"How would you go about verifying these facts sir ?" At least the person on the other end had not put the phone down.

Harry smiled he knew he had the right person just by the caginess in his voice "well if you can answer a few simple questions then I think we might be able to do business together "

"fire away young man fire away " The voice seemed almost keen to get this over with.

"OK who is Ron's dad , Charlie's Dad and married to Molly ?"

A laugh came down the line "My brother Arthur .Next Question please "

"Okay" Harry, smiled to himself " what sort of world would Arthur say he lived in ? "

A laugh that is easy .A magical one " .Harry smiled " I am sorry if this is a bad question but what does the word Squib mean to you ? " .

There was silence on the other end for a while then a sad voice said "To me it means loosing your family and your friends .It means a women you hoped loved you didn't .To me squib means sadness and heartache."

Harry smiled "sir at the moment I am smiling for two reasons .One is that you are the right man and two is I think we both want to get our own back on the magical world for screwing us over ."

At the other end of the phone a tired looking man suddenly sat up "what do you mean by that ? "

Harry smiled and put some more coins into the phone "Sir have you ever heard of Harry Potter or The-Boy-Who-Lived? "

The person on the the other end of the line shook his head what a weird question "nope never have I was kicked out of my so called loving family when I was 11 and sent to a muggle orphanage since then I leave magic alone and it leaves me alone ."

Harry smiled "Sir I think we can do business when and were can you meet me ? "

The man sat thinking did he want to get involved in the magical world again did he want to see what he had missed and had been denied him all his life but the bigger question in his mind was the idea this Harry kid wanted revenge and in a bad way . "Mr. Potter what are your ideas and how big a screw over are we talking about ?"

"Well sir if we can arrange a meeting place and time I think you will be shocked at how vindictive I feel sir .At the moment I am in London but I do have some money so I can travel .I need to get a few books and then .That's is a point should I get a few books on magical law for you while I am at it so you can see where we stand on a legal viewpoint ?" The voice on the end of the phone chimed in "Yes please I shall reimburse you if I do take the case on but at the moment I know nothing of magical law .Having been denied access to it ."

Harry said he would find what books he could and would phone back later as he nearly out of change .This would also give Mr. Weasley time to think of the best place to meet and best time .

Harry had finally made it to the leaky cauldron and went inside .The place was buzzing with gossip and news but Harry was not listening if he had he might have found out some very interesting things as it was he just wanted to get his shopping done go to his flat and fall asleep .He made his way to the wall and was soon in Diagon alley .He headed straight for the book shop Flourish & Blotts and was soon in the legal area and searched for anything he thought might help him and not just in accounting .

The law and will making the law and Guardianship the law and accounting were a few of them .It surprised him how thin each book was as he had seen on occasion TV shows and the lawyers all had massive books to read through .It was less weight so who was he to complain .He was about to walk of when he spotted another one the use of under age magic .So he picked that up as well .

Harry made his way back to Normal London and the B+B he was staying at .Harry thanked the landlady for his tea and complemented her on her cooking as he said to many just nuke their food and take no pride in it .This earned him bonus points and he hoped would get him a bigger portion of food . He went to bed happy took a few paracetamol the hospital had given him and went to sleep . Harry woke and stretched out .Got up and had a quick shower went downstairs and helped himself to some breakfast .Before leaving he saw the owner and thanked her again for some good food and asked if his parents had left him a note .She told him they hadn't and thanked him .

Harry made his way to a phone booth put in some change and called Mr Weasly .

"Hello sir "

A voice came back down the line "Mr. Potter .How good to hear from you ."

Harry smiled "Have you got a time and place to meet sorted sir ?"

The answer brought a smile to his face "me and some colleagues are in London .Near the leaky cauldron .How soon do you think you could get here ?"

Harry's reply of "10 mins" was OKed and he was soon on his way ,He spotted a person who could only be a Weasley going by his hair colour with 3 other men just before he got to the leaky cauldron and called out. "Mr. Weasley "

The man and his friends stopped turned around and waited for the person who had called him to reach him ."Mr. Potter ?"

Harry smiled and nodded trying to get his breath back ,and just pointed to a cafe as he was to winded to talk .

The men were all eyeing him but he could read nothing from their expressions ,he reached into his backpack and brought out the few books he had brought .Mr. Weasley took the one about Harry Potter and flicked through it as a waitress came over to take their orders .

Other than Harry they all wanted coffee ,Harry was happy with a banana milkshake ,mainly because he had never had one .One of the men started to shake his head and handed his book to another of the men and pointed out a paragraph .

"If it wouldn't ruin my reputation I think I would be on the floor laughing my nuts off ."

The others looked at him and one even did a Mr Spock impersonation and raised one eyebrow .

"Can we ask why ? Or would you like to leave us in suspense ?"

"Well" replied the man who seemed to be worried about his reputation "If I am reading this right Harry here would be classed as head of house .As in the olden days of lords and such when they held meaning .As such he comes under a completely different set of laws to most others ."

Mr. Weasley chose this moment to look up "it gets better Harry here is a international hero and has a superstar status in their world ."

He might not have been the smartest person he left that for Hermoine but even he could here the bitterness in Mr. Weasley's voice when he said "their world" .Mind you that could have been because it sounded a lot like the Dursly's when he they had met Hagrid .

He stood up and spoke "I am sorry but I need to go to the bathroom and I think I might look over the counter to see if they have anything I fancy." He looked at them "would any of you like me to order you anything else ?" they shook their heads and of he went.

After harry had finished in the bog he went to the counter and looked along it he was not really hungry he just had a case of the munches.

"Hello love can I get you owt ?" { owt same as saying anything}

Harry looked up and saw a women behind the counter smiling at him he shook his head and smiled "I'm not sure I think I would like another milkshake maybe chocolate flavour and I got a case of the munches ."

He looked at her "so what you got for munches ?"

she looked "well we got crisps some choc bars ,nuts and yep some pork scratchings ."

Harry made his mind up "Okay pack pork scratch and mixed nuts ,can I have a bowl to put them in as well please ? and a strawberry milkshake as well."

The women smiled got him a paper bowl to tip his nuts and scratchings in made him a milkshake. Harry took out a fiver from his pocket and handed to her .Thanked her for her help and stuck the loose change into the life boat appeal container.

After he made his way back to the others and sat down he spent a bit of time mixing his nuts with his pork scratchings in the bowl and started to pick his way through them .The adults seemed to mainly ignore him .This was OK with him as he had no idea of legal matters he sat and drank some milkshake and decided Banana was better .

Mr. Weasley looked at the child calmly snacking and smiled .

"Harry ."

Harry looked up "yes sir "

Mr. Weasley looked at him "we have spoke about some of the stuff you mentioned to me and we have a better understanding of the law .Do you think you can tell us what happened and why and how you want to go with this ?"

Harry took a drink of his shake "well it all started with a letter ."

Harry went to tell about his first Hogwarts letter his life with the Dursly's his visit to Gringotts and his school year. He then went on to explain his second visit to the bank and his treatment along with his treatment by the Auror.

They sat and listened occasionally taking a sip of coffee. The one who was concerned about his rep smiled it wasn't a nice smile it was the smile that had got him the nickname "**The Shark**" .

"And so " Harry finished off " I don't want to live with my aunt and uncle ,I want to know why my parents wishes were ignored and according to the file I sneaked a peak at while the Goblin was out cold my legal guardian and godfather was illegally stuck in nick ,with no trial or being questioned."

he took a sip of drink and popped a nut in his mouth and chewed it.

"OK so how far do I want to go? I want what is mine and has been denied me .I want a full stomach every day of the year not just when I at school ,I want to be able have friends around for tea or sleep overs ."He took a deep breath "I want to be happy and loved"

The shark and Mr. Weasley looked at each other and nodded .The Other two men still had their heads in the books .

"Mr. Potter if we take this case what are you willing to pay us?"

Harry looked stumped "I thought it was no win no fee ?"

Mr. Weasley smiled "That is for accident's"

Harry thought about it then got a look in his eyes "Mr. Weasley how about doing it no win no fee but over a larger area .I have been robbed kidnapped abused lied to and put in danger .I need financial help as well as legal help. To be blunt I want my dosh { another slang way meaning money}back and I want what has been stolen from me meaning my life."

He wasn't finished "I have seen on TV adverts with famous people in. It is my understanding they get paid for these adverts. Where is **my** cash from book sales, mugs, t-shirts ,company's even say I endorse their product .As I never knew of the Wizarding world till I met Hagrid who gave them my permission were is **my** cut."

One of the men who had his head in a book looked up.

"You have never signed any sort of deals with any company? And your legal guardian is in jail?"

Harry nodded .

"How much do you think you are worth ?" the same man asked

Harry looked at him and was puzzled "I don't rightly know but I have 4 shelves of books dedicated to me .That is a puzzle because no one knew where I was bar the Headmaster, Hagrid and Professor McGonagall .So who gave them pictures of me? or even descriptions ?and as the ones I looked at were full of lies "

The same man cut in again"you can prove they printed lies about you ?"

Harry Picked up the book about him from the pile. "According to this book after I defeated ' He-Who- Must-Not-Be-Named' I was moved to a safe location to begin my training "

Harry looked at him "how is spending nearly 9 years in a broom closet and being fed once a day **if** I was lucky being some were safe ?"

This time the new bloke had a nasty grin on his face and started to rub his hands together .Harry looked and could only think "Arkwright " and smiled .He just hoped this person if he helped him had more success than Arkwright and Granville .He started to giggle .He couldn't help it .

They looked at him puzzled .

Mr. Weasley spoke "Harry you Okay ?"

Harry nodded and looked at the bloke "can you do that smile and hand rubbing again please ?"

The bloke was puzzled but complied with the request. Harry started to giggle again "he just reminds me of Arkwright from Open all hours I expected him to start stuttering and looking around for the nurse " .Harry lost it when the waitress came over and asked if anyone wanted anything else .

He got himself under control and noticed the others all had smiles on their faces "can I have another choc milkshake please?" She nodded and harry gave her another note and asked if any the men wanted something .2 wanted another coffee so he paid for them as well .

"Harry what you got planned for the rest of the day? "

Harry thought about it "nowt to be honest I had no idea how long me and you would be and as I have nothing important but homework to do I left the day open .Why?"

Mr. Weasley looked at him "well we wish to discuss your " .He stopped the waitress had brought over the drinks and Harry's change. Harry thanked her and then she left.

"As I was saying .We wish to discuss your case and you need to find out about how to pay us .If we think we can do the no win no fee thing we will ."

Harry broke in "If we do the no win no fee then I as long as I get all my stuff returned and have a measure of revenge then I think I am right in saying I should be due compensation and also interest on any money stolen .Is that right?"

Mr. Weasley looked at the other and "the shark " spoke "son if we can verify the facts and if we can get a day in court then yes you should be able to get compensation as well as interest on money and stuff stolen from you ."

'Arkwright ' spoke next "if you have not signed anything and any articles published about you contain lies then you should be able to sue for slander .The fact they gave you super star status means they can write about your life but they can not print lies .Also they can not produce merchandise in your name with out your consent or your legal guardians .Either way you are entitled to monetary compensation ."

Next Mr .Weasley spoke "If some one has been dipping into your cash then their will be a paper trail and we can get you reimbursed .Also you should be able to do something with the bank as they are not looking after their client or his property "

Harry took a breath "OK so here's the deal .If you work for me on a no win no fee basis on all the things I can do something about like the bank my godfather my living arraignments and my financial arrangements then as long as I get my original amounts back then you can keep 40% of what we make on top. Now to sweeten the pot how about this the money from all the illegal merchandise that you can recover you keep 100% of and we make some deals with reputable people were I get a percentage of the take after tax and that ."

They all looked at each other and seemed to have a silent conversation .Harry needed to make a sign that this was a good idea he really really wanted a happy life.

"O..kay" he started "how about I give you an idea of my worth ?"

They looked at him blankly ."We can go to Diagon alley and you can get an idea of how much merchandise we talking about here "

Mr. Weasley was about to speak up when ' Arkwright ' spoke up .

"That would be a splendid idea."

So after they finished they drinks and thanked the waitress as they walked past and harry nodded to the women behind the counter they set of to the leaky cauldron. Harry pulled a baseball cap from his bag and walked up to the barman .

"Hum Tom isn't it ?" the man nodded "I wonder could you open the way to Diagon alley as I have only been once."

Tom nodded and soon Harry and co were in Diagon alley.

Harry first led them to a book shop then he led them to an odds and sods shop . In each one he noticed how they looked at the shear amount of Potter merchandise .'Arkwright' was rubbing his hands again. He smiled at harry. A shop assistant came over .

"Hello deary's what can I help you with?"

'Arkwright' spoke up "Hi other than my lad here we are squibs. My lad here is a big Harry potter fan and as he got ace marks at school I promised him he could get some more Harry potter memorabilia .He is hoping for something like a signed poster or mug."

She smiled "of course dear .Let me see " and off she went only to return with a collection of posters and other stuff. "here you go I have quite a collection but the signed ones cost a bit more "

'Arkwright' smiled "well son you chose."

Harry looked at the posters and not one looked like him these all seemed to be child strongmen with muscles most adults would wish for .The fact that they had his name on and the word official made it easy for Harry to decide .He chose 3 posters and a mug .His 'dad' paid for them and they left.

After wondering around and poking around in a few shops they had seen enough.

"Harry .I think we can go now I know I have seen enough to convince me but as we a group it would have to be a group agreement.

Harry nodded and they made their way back to London.

Once away from the leaky cauldron Mr. Weasley turned to Harry. "Harry as I said we need to discuss this and your idea of how to pay us .You must relies that you would be hiring a court lawyer a financial lawyer and a company lawyer .This means at least 3 different research groups and of course time and money."

Harry looked sad but nodded "I Hope you will take my case. As you say it will be a lot of work and you have mouths to feed bills to pay."

He handed Mr, Weasley the card from his b+b so he could copy the address and phone number."I told them me and my mum and dad were there. So I do Have an unused room I paid for so if any you want to use it rather than travel please do."

The man Harry thought of as shark smiled ."It would be a lot easier for me to pretend to be his dad as I have the most travelling to do. Also it would give me some time to sort some stuff out on a case I have here in London."

'The Shark' smiled "hello son shall we go back to our rooms?" Harry nodded "OK"

The B+B (Bed and Breakfast) owner looked up and saw the boy and a man enter.

Harry smiled and waved "Hi did mum leave any message?"

the women looked under her desk then shook her head "nope nowt sorry sonny"

harry turned to his 'dad' .Looks like she shopping or house hunting either way if she spending dosh she will forget to leave any message ." His 'dad 'smiled at him and ruffled his hair ."Yer as long as it is her card she Max out this time ." He smiled OK go to your room and get some homework done I going have shower and a quick nap I got work again later."

Harry went had a shower and decided just because he could he would have a nap.

Mr. Weasley sat down and looked at his 3 companions.

"Well, what do you think of the deal?"

'Arkwright ' As he had been dubbed started the ball rolling.

"He is owed a huge amount of money from people cashing in on his fame ,even if we only got 20% of it back we would be set for life."

Mr. Weasley turned to his other friend "?"

The man looked at him and smiled "the kids been shafted left and right,if we take this case I can't see how it is possible to loose as we can use facts,fame,and the parental sympathy vote to win. I say go for it"

'The shark ' sat by a desk in his room and went over the facts in his head .No matter how he looked at it he could not see a way of loosing .Even if they lost the case the publicity from it would rip open the magical world .Then with the fact being covered up and to be honest it was the only way he could see of loosing the case and getting negative publicity ,the general public would be calling for heads to roll.

His room phone rang .

"Mr. Potter, there is a gentleman on line 3 who wishes to speak to you a Mr. Weasley ,Shall I put him through ?"

A quick affirmative and 'the shark' was talking to Mr. Weasley ,well what's the decision ?"

Mr. Weasley spoke with authority down the line and his voice also had a hint of anger and something else in it.

"We hang them by the nackers {testicles}and take them for every penny we can, by the time we are done I don't want any of them to have a knut to their name."

'The sharks feral smile appeared "I'll go tell the lad we **will** do it."

They spoke for a couple of minutes arranging a couple of small details before they said "bye" and put their phones down.

Harry was awoken by someone calling his name.

"Harry ,Harry wake up."

He started to stir and after a yawn reached out to the bedside table and groped for his glasses.

As his vision cleared he saw 'The shark' next to him."OK sir have you all come to a decision?"

'The shark' smiled and Harry smiled , yes no matter what this blokes name was he was 'the shark' for good in Harry's head .

"Yes ,we have .Sir you are now the newest client of 'Weasley and co.' or as we like to call ourselves 'squibs are us. '

Harry smiled "the payment arrangements ?"

"No win no fee and we take what we can from the ones who are marketing you illegally "

Harry smiled and reached out his hand "We are in agreement then,we screw them over big time "

'Shark' smiled "yes oh yes they will regret a great many things. Of that you should have no doubt."

He held out his hand to harry "Richard Warpath at your service "

Harry laughed "I have been calling you 'the shark' in my head and now find a warpath instead. He laughed mind you it would have been funnier if it was 'warparty.'

'Richard' smiled "it's funny you should say that but in the court room I am known as 'the shark' and I have no idea why." he tried to make an innocent face but Harry's laughter was contagious .

"Tomorrow" .Richard started "we sit down and discuss all our options."

Harry looked at him puzzled for a moment then smiled "listen I have no idea of the law or anything like that .So it's simple you win and we both get paid and we both get justice done." How can I help you, what you need in way of cash ,legal documents that sort of stuff."

He looked to his table top and picked up a can of coke then as he sat up he stretched ."I can only help if told what to do and why I must do it .If I boss you around all I can do is hurt us I do not have the experience to deal with this situation." he smiled again "any way when at school I delegate Hermoine to do the research as it is her speciality,Ron comes up with the plans. It works at school so should work here"

Richard looked at the kid and thought to himself 'well at least he knows his limits and the fact he is willing to give us so much leeway is great .' He held out his hand "Okay Harry we will do it that way."

Harry smiled "Oh... they might think they clever and that but with all their evil and control over every ones lives they were unused to large confrontations."

He smiled to beat evil fight it with evil and a group of lawyers on a no win no fee system would NOT! be pulling their punches. The fact 'Squibs' were nearly universally disliked, hidden, or ignored would work to their advantage.

The underdog had teeth now and a pack. Maybe it was time for it to bite back.

Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own anything but the original ideas in this story the rest belongs to J..

**Harry's happy revenge part four**

Police cars pulling up outside number 4 was their first sign anything was wrong in Privet Drive. Harry Potter and another man got out of one and several Police officers made their way to the front door. Curtains twitched and a few discreet calls were being made within seconds .

The next thing to show something was happening at number 4 was Vernon Dursleys being led away in handcuffs only to be followed by Petunia a few minutes later. Dudley left after another 10 minutes after being led to a separate vehicle. A police van with forensic team printed one the side turned up some 20 minutes later. Within 30 minutes all of Privet Drive was awake and trying to call each other.

Men in white overalls and carrying what looked like tool boxes entered the house they left some 5 hours later. None of them looked pleased.

They all wanted to know what was happening but none could get an answer from any officer when they asked. "it an on going investigation was the only reply" How could they tell their friends when no one was telling them anything oh well some said time to fall back on rumour, Soon Vernon and Petunia where everything from drug barons to slave labour sales people. After all that Potter kid never looked very healthy and he was away an awful lot of the time. On top of him never getting new clothes and always working in and around the garden.

It was not until the Sunday **Little Whinging gazette** came out that some light was shed onto the whole thing.

**Dursley family arrested for child abuse.**

Was the front page headline.

On Wednesday a concerned citizen made a call to the Surrey Police informing them he had found a run away. He later told the police that it was not so much a run away as an escapee, as the child he had found said he came from an abusive home. Mr Warpath a well known solicitor said he met the child in a cafe. {he was obviously upset about something and after a few minutes I told him I was going to the loo, when I came back we continued to talk. I had to visit the loo again and told the Police what had been revealed to me. I am a lawyer and was horrified at what this child was telling me, my first loo visit I phoned the Surrey constabulary and told them I had a run away from their area but on my second visit to the loo I updated them that this could be a case of child abuse and illegal detention.." when asked what illegal detention we were told "in Britain it is illegal to keep someone with out a reason under lock and key Mr Potter was locked in a cupboard under the stairs for 9 years only allowed out to go to school or do chores around the house not only is this illegal and inhuman it also falls under the child endangerment act. As the cupboard was padlocked on the out side the child could not get out if their was a fire.

This was later confirmed by the police as they said {our forensic team found proof that Mr Potter had indeed spent a huge amount of time in the cupboard under the stairs.

Mr Warpath went on. "As I became more concerned at the amount of illegal activity I also got in touch with child welfare and social services, {poor harry believed I had had a bad curry the night before} I am un married and got along fine with Mr Potter, When an officer of the law came along Harry was at first scared and hesitant to talk, but I think fear being hungry and just maybe wanting to have some sort of control over his own life finally made he tell the officer what he had told me." Mr Warpath then shook his head and smiled ruefully.

"Somehow or other I ended up agreeing to look after Mr Potter and he was placed in a sort of protective custody until we could sort out a plan of action against the Dursleys. A chat with the officers in Harry's local area revealed that Dudley Dursley being under age had been warned on several occasions about bulling and under age drinking. His parents were notified but nothing was ever done."

Arabella Figg dropped the paper and ran to the floo, Albus needed to hear about this.

In his office Albus looked up as the floo came to life and a worried Arabella Figg appeared. "Albus ,Albus..... the Dursley's have been arrested." She gasped out.

Albus looked up "again what for this time?"

She looked at him strangely "child abuse, child endangerment; neglect, false imprisonment and I think some other stuff." She seemed to shake her head as her brain caught up with her hearing "What do you mean again?"

Albus looked at her and smiled at the slip of the tongue he had made, oh well "**Obliviate**. Oh Arabella that is terrible I shall be right over."

Albus turned up at number four and knocked on the door a strange man answered and asked who he was. Albus was shocked what was going on here and how complicated would it be to sort out. Oh well {onwards and upwards} he thought to himself. |So Albus introduced himself and said he wanted to talk to Harry, the man called out "Harry" but he never gave his own name {Something Albus thought was quite rude} Then went on calling out to Harry that {someone called Albus was at the door and wanting to speak to him.} Harry called back " I am not interested in any thing he has to say so tell that I do **not! ** want to chat and to to him tell him to go away." So Richard did. Much to his own amusement as he knew Albus Dumbledore could hear every thing Harry called out.

Albus being Albus pulled out his wand intending to stun this rude man at the door and make Harry do as he wanted all under the {**greater good**} heading he loved to use so much. when he found himself clutching his family jewels.

Richard felt good really good the great Albus Dumbledore was clutching his nackers after he a squib had kicked him very hard between the legs.

Harry came through to the hallway after hearing a girly scream and saw the headmaster holding onto his {**wounded pride**} ran forward and grabbed Albus is wand before turning to Richard "what happened?"

Richard smiled "this nutter" he turned and pointed to Albus. "Turned up, I called you he would not take no for an answer. He pulled what a thought was a knife on me... so I kicked him between the legs hard." He winked at harry when he said hard. "Then you came out the living room made a mad rush that I will be talking to you about later and grabbed a what ?" Harry showed him the wand.

"A twig he pulled a twig on me I think I best call the local nut house see if any one escaped." said a grinning Richard

Harry smiled.

"**Harry**?" groaned out Albus "I need you to .." that was as far as he got. Harry turned said " I am not interested so good night!" he shut the door and had to hold in his laughter Richard seemed to be in the same boat.

Albus when he had his wind back knocked on the door again and pulled out his original wand he needed the elder wand back. It felt funny using his old 4.5 inch Flowering lemon tree wood and Pygmy puff core wand after so many years. He had been glad when he had got the {**Elder Wand**}as it stopped all the comparisons between a wizards wand and his {WAND}observations.

Richard opened the door and saw a wand pointed at him reared back and kicked out again He smiled to himself {he shoots and he scores!!!!!!} Harry reached around Richard and grabbed Albus's second wand and hissed out " Bugger **off!** before we call the Police." As the headmaster fell forward he slammed the door shut. A satisfying {**Thud**} told them the Headmaster was most likely out cold. after having a door slammed shut onto the top of your head tended to have that effect.

It was several hours later when Albus and several of his older friends turned up their again but with several people as back up this time. He smiled to himself { lets see what experience and guile do to a man of violence.}

He should have known the answer.

This time Richard and Harry were prepared. They had watched through the curtains and when they heard the distinctive {**pop} **of apparition and they moved onto phase two of their plan. Richard went to the front door and saw the old man through the spy hole he pushed record on his Dictaphone and waited.

Albus went to the front door and knocked then he quickly stepped back and out of foot reach. The rude violent man answered the door in a surprisingly fast time. He was then told to { clear off you bloody nutter before I call the Police}and the door slammed in his face again, he had to smile at least this time the door never made contact with him. After he told Albus to bugger of Richard phoned the Police and told them about the suspicious people outside.

When Albus knocked again just a couple of minutes later and no answer came he cast a simple "_Alohomora" _spell and the door was opened, he then demanded to the shocked Richard, who was still on the phone to the Police his "wands" back.

Richard shook his head and informed him to {clear off and to get out off the house as he had not been invited in.} Richard smiled and made sure the receiver was facing towards Albus so the officer on the other end would hear and record it all. "Now Albus was it? You have entered this house illegally and been asked to leave do so before I call the Police." Richard could have kissed Albus when he said " I am friends with the Dursleys and this is their house. I have their permission to come and go as I wish." The Police officer on the line told Richard to keep them talking as long as he felt safe as a car had been dispatched they were very interested in any "friends" of the Dursley's.

Harry meanwhile did call the police on a mobile Richard had lent him for this occasion and they said they had already dispatched a car as Mr Warpath was on another line and for Harry to find somewhere safe to hide until they arrived. Harry thanked them and pressed the button to disconnect the call.

When the police turned up they saw a bunch of oddly dressed people on number 4 drive and went to investigate one of the weird people made a move and brought out something that looked like a knife the officer nearest to them taking no chances grabbed the persons hand and after putting them into a Swan Neck lock proceeded to handcuff them while his partner called for back up. Harry had tears in his eyes as Snape was cuffed and dragged away. Another person went for their wand and that was it as far as the Police were concerned. Richard looked at Dumbledore's shocked face as he pushed him outside and slammed the door shut. He spoke quickly into the phone. "your officers have arrived it looks like they are resisting arrest as they have attacked your men." The officer on the other end of the line sent out a emergency call. Richard opened the front door and called "look I think they are all armed with knifes or something we have called and told your headquarters you might need back up."

It was only 2 minutes later a screeching cop van pulled up the wizards were unable to apparate as it would be seen by muggles decided to make a fight of it. Stunning the police then Obliviate them had worked in the past so they thought it would work now. Sadly for them they forgot to take into account the fact that Albus was unarmed and Snape was cuffed and unarmed leaving 3 to carry on the fight.. This did not work and soon all were arrested out of the 5 that came Albus had no wand Snape's got stepped on and broken Mundungus Fletcher wand was snapped as he was knocked to the ground and Elphias Doge was snapped when he swung around to fast and tripped when running from an officer. He was not happy this would not look good when the Wizengamot found out about this as he was a Special Advisor to them this would be a black mark against his name, and he now blamed Dumbledore. Long time friend or not this was a disaster of his making. Only Nymphodora's wand was saved and that was because she handed it over and lay on the floor so she would not be man handled. After they where all cuffed and driven away Richard and Harry opened the door and looked around they spotted an officer and Harry went over and asked her officer if she would like to come in for a drink and take their statements. She nodded and followed Harry over to Richard. When Richard explained he was a lawyer the officer smiled and nodded this will be good she thought. Attacking a lawyer was never a good idea.

As soon as they had the {nutter's} in a cell they sent out Emails and Faxes to show who they had in custody. They faxed and emailed their newest guests pictures and prints to other stations and a few mental institutions . This would come and bite Albus on the ass later.

As soon as their cell mates were asleep all five "nutter's" had apparated out the cells they had been locked in. Some went home two - Albus and Snape got new wands, one, Snape, had a spare in his room and the other Albus got his from Ollivander's who was not happy at being rushed.. They returned and did a {**clean up**} as it was called when a magical person wanted to remove evidence the magical world existed. It should have been done by ministry personnel but Albus being Albus and Snape being Snape or as other would later put it a "pair of big headed idiots" started by stunning and Obliviateing the local coppers. They followed this by removing all the written documents and even destroyed the CCTV cameras and footage. "How?" someone later said they expected this to go unnoticed was a bloody stupid.

This might have gone unnoticed as it had the other times Albus had done this to stop anyone looking into the Dursleys and their treatment of Harry but those few times a near riot had not been involved this time there were more records and they did survive .

When an officer involved the next day was about to go off duty got a reply to a Fax stating {none of them were recognised as being wanted in that particular area of Surrey,} he was confused he had no memory of sending any Fax of any description that night as more Emails and Faxes came in a lot of officers became worried. It seemed they had large amount of their memory's missing. So they paid a visit to privet drive. When asked if they had kept in the five nutters from last night they became very worried.

Harry and Richard gave their statements again and also said how the old bearded man claimed to be a wizard, "maybe he hypnotised you and that's why you forgot, I heard you can only do it to a willing subject if you and your team had enough for the night and you really wanted to go home and forget the whole night had happened would that give him enough of an edge to make it easy?" harry smiled as he asked that question.

An APB was put out for all of them and the headmaster and the the others had their faces plastered all over the front pages. Later that day many Muggleborn and Halfblood 's nearly chocked on their meals when they saw the Headmaster and Snape on the front pages of the papers and in the news on TV. Squibs all over who knew what Albus looked like laughed it seemed the high and mighty wizards where wanted for questioning and were considered dangerous. The fact they were being called a cult who believed in wizards made many pale as this was to close to the truth, how the hell had Albus Dumbledore let on about the wizarding world?

Thanks to those that helped me with this chapter and hope you enjoy. More to follow when I sort out who to go after next and how Dumbles {who I hate} tries to get out of the predicament he now finds himself in.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Harry Potter or any of the JKR Characters just the one I invented. Thanks for reading

**Part five Harry's happy revenge.**

Harry and Richard enjoyed a nice quiet breakfast and when the doorbell went Harry pulled his wand while Richard went to the door. He smiled when he saw his work colleagues outside and invited them in.

It was only a few minutes into explaining what had happened the night before when his colleagues lost all decorum and burst out with laughter.

Harry sat back and smiled he thought about the man with a cigar he had seen in some tv show once something about a plan coming together or something but he thought it was appropriate for the moment.

" So Harry who's next? As I think the old boy will be nursing his pride for some time"

Harry put down a cup he had been holding and thought about it. I think the next person should be. The ones making money off my name so that means we go for the biggest name amongst them then the smaller ones will fold."

They looked at him and smiled "why not the smaller ones first?" Mr Weasley asked.

"well the large one last means they have more time to gather resources and look stuff up but if we go after them first it a major blow. The smaller ones will know we can win and we might get more money from one large one than 10 smaller ones."

They nodded "glad to see you thought it out rather than just say this one."

They spent the day going over book makers poster makers and the such trying to decide who was biggest. They took time of for tv and food and drinks and seemed very happy with their progress. Harry invited them to stay and they agreed.

The next morning Harry got up and as he made some breakfast for himself he looked around "Arkwright" was the only one in the area and it was him he wanted to speak to most.

" I was wondering in the normal world I have heard of dummy corporations what if we can find one big dummy corporation and get them done?"

Arkwright looked at him and smiled " what you got in mind my lad"

Harry smiled " Dumbledore " you think he wouldn't have a hand in these dummy corporations. If we can find one he using and close it he looses money and power and we never knew who it affected as all we trying to do is help poor harry have some money for after he leaves school and for poor harry to not be ripped of by unscrupulous people" Harry got that far before he burst out with laughter.

"Arkwright" rubbed his hands together with glee " you know that would make it so much simpler and I imagine all business must be registered.

It took the rest of the day but eventual they had a plan that seemed at least partially workable. They would go to the ministry or Diagon alley tomorrow and from there they would work backwards to find what they needed.

The next day was full of fun it was surprisingly easy to find out who owned the rights to Harry Potter and where that money was going. It seemed all rights belonged to Harry and every one who used his image or name paid a Knut or so per item. As Harry had surmised the head of the Wizengamot was "looking" after the money until Harry was of age. That was not the only surprise the ministry had given him when "the Shark" asked about Harry's money and property they were surprised that he didn't know he was counted a lord or that he was also counted as a legal adult due to his position as head of the family. This did not mean he could drink drive or smoke but he could do some magic and he could also access more of his holdings. He could not access it all until he was 18 but he could access more when he was 16.

The Ministry had been very helpful it seemed the minister himself (funny that harry thought) wanted to make sure if Harry ever came there he got their full co- operation.

The minister had not meant for Harry to find out so much by full co-operation he meant a guide or something, he would never have guessed how many of Dumbledore's plans he ruined at that moment and truth be told it might have given him some satisfaction had he known.

Harry had been upset a bit when he found out it was only a Knut or two per item until Arkwright pointed out it 10 years or so of merchandising and it a world wide tax so it would be in the millions if not close to billions stored somewhere. The best bit though was his inheritance the clerk had told him the Goblins normally did inheritance rituals to see if someone was entitled to enter a vault or some times just to get a replacement key but after Harry had told them that he didn't want spend all day running around. (Richard had whispered in his ear that it might pre warn the Goblins and as he seemed to have the ministers people on his side this minute he should use it wisely)

The clerk had just gone fetched a couple of Aurors as witnesses, and a man in a hooded cloak that he found out after a question was an unspeakable (who it seemed would do the ritual) they began.

It took some weird looking parchment that seemed to be silvery and alive if anything and a few drops of his blood into the liquid when all sorts of weird writing started to flow across it. The Unspeakable was mumbling a spell or cursing under his breath it was hard to tell but suddenly the lines cleared and a family tree seemed to grow in front of him him his parents their parents name after name flowed and the parchment grew to accommodate the names. When it had stopped the unspeakable pulled his wand and cast a spell of the now massive parchment and it turned into some giant rug thing.

Harry shook his head and just asked "ummm why do I have a rug now?"

The clerk smiled "Mr. Potter that is your family tree it has all your members on it. They get hung in a place of prominence so all can see. If in years to come some family member goes evil say you can curse them of the family tapestry and that will remove potter from their last name and they will have no ability to use any Potter property. There must be a ritual as well to make it permanent or you could cast someone out the family and they could return in say 10 years time when their name had regrown into the tapestry. It is self updating."

Harry smiled "okay lets see who is who on the Potter wall of fame."

The clerk and Aurors all had to sit down, Harry just fainted.

Snape sat before the court a smirk on his face .So Snape ."that's professor Snape " Snape said coldly .Mm no I right as part owner of Hogwarts my client has terminated you contract you are in fact fired .So its Mr Snape at the most .Snape was furious "that spoilt self centred no it all " he was cut off "Spoilt I was unaware of being starved beaten and kidnapped illegally held against his will was classed as spoilt I must of missed something in the dictionary ". Snape looked up furious how dare this squib cut him off .Now Mr Snape tell us why you hate My client so much .The truth as well if you don't want to end up a squib " I have taken no oath that I have broken. The lawyer looked up and smiled the same smile that made sharks famous and looked in the other direction towards the judges. "So you didn't take an oath to tell the truth and the whole truth to us today ."

He smiled "it seems the Wizarding world is behind as it is muggle practice to make sure trials are fair and that if some one lies there are severe consequences oh well I suppose it shows the muggles are more advance than us in some ways." He knew full well the Pure-bloods would hate this and that the half-bloods would see it as a way to get to Snape who they would most likely hate from school.

The court and crowd looked on at this then, Neville Longbottom shouted "**make him take the oath to swear to tell the truth or ****Veritaserum we can not be seen as more stupid than the muggles **!"

This cry was taken up by more and more of the non Pure-bloods the pure-bloods seeing themselves outnumbered and those on the side of the light also took up the cry.

The Wizengamot looked at Snape in truth most of them hated him and what he had done to potions as a whole. Amelia Bones stood up Mr Snape you will swear on your magic to tell the truth. {She looked at the squib and said "what was it the muggles swear" and hoped she could pull this off Dumbledore had protected Snape more than once now she was hoping for retribution}."

(The shark) as she called him in her mind looked at her and smiled "I happen to have a card here I use in court "he pulled out a card ."may I approach the bench your honour " then he smiled "sorry muggle manners he got up and walked over and handed her a card without looking and walked back .

"You are under arrest you have the right to remain silent but if you so choose ."hum hum sorry that's a muggle arrest card its what the muggle Auror say when they catch a criminal it has no bearing on this case and just has a few fundamental rights that **muggle** criminals have on it ."he got up and pulled another card from his other pocket smiling to himself {so lets see you pure-blooded lot look like fools with more intelligent muggles}.

" May I keep this " she asked looking at the shark "it has many good ideas on it and I believe it is time for a review of our laws as we wouldn't want to fall **behind** on what the the muggles do".He smiled "of course your " he smiled "sorry muggle manners again. You see when addressing the head of the court we say "_your honour_" here its less and hand stuff over. yes you can have it I have others " he handed her a second card after she read it she looked at Snape "repeat after me Mr Snape " "I swear by my magic that I shall tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

The shark looked at her and smiled

"I will not swear that I have other oaths I have tak " Snape was was cut off mid rant.

"Bring out the Veritaserum. Mr Snape _**we shall**_ have the truth one way or the other " Snape blanched this was not going to be good. Amelia just smiled {snarky git make her sue cry well she won't have to put up with this idiot anymore if this got as bad for Snape as she hoped}

After the truth drug had been administered the shark circled his first question was simple Snape's name the second was his parents names and if they were Deatheater's were it was revealed he was a half blood then the shark circled closer Mr Snape are you a Deatheater "the "**yes**" answer was expected by some the {shark swam a bit closer in Amelia's mind as she watched him never standing still and circling like a predator}with his next question "how did you get into being a Deatheater " Lucius Malfoy recruited me when I was at school. He said he would make me his son's Godfather later on as part of the deal when he got a male heir."

Richard was confused "Why did you want to become a Godfather?"

Snape replied in a drowsy state "If I was the Godfather of a pure-blood then when the master won I would not have my heritage looked into as much. I needed everyone to think if a snob like Malfoy had me as his sons Godfather I must be a pure-blood."

"what did you do to become a Deatheater and get your dark mark ?" The Shark really wanted to know the answer to this as it would help in Harry's revenge.

"I killed a squib " the shark moved closer his eyes were dead, he was a squib it could have been anyone of his friends this scum had killed.

"Any idea who that squib was and how did you kill him? Is there some way they must die so you can be a Deatheater ?." Snape wanted to lie but couldn't "Yes it was minister fudge's cousin and by the killing curse, you can not become a death eater until you have killed with the killing curse in front of the dark lord. "

There was a gasp from the crowd .The shark moved closer Amelia could almost hear the rendering of flesh and see in her head the blood spreading from Snape as the shark attacked "tell me Mr Snape who else have you had a hand in killing ? And please tell us when the Veritaserum

is wearing off."

" I told the dark lord who the potter secret keeper was, as I was the one who recruited him, and I also helped set up Sirius black. I also supplied poison to kill the potters grandparents and I killed lily's mothers parents .The room was silent .

"why?" It was the only thing that Richard could say.

"Because he wanted that filthy mudblood and Black was his best friend. I wanted her to suffer and I wanted James Potter to suffer he was taking the man I loved away from me." Snape knew he had said to much and was trying to fight the Veritaserum.

The crowd and the Wizengamot stared in shock and several had open mouths.

"Who was the potter secret keeper " Richard shot out.

"Peter Pettigrew " Several people and several Aurors gasped Harry who had no idea why Sirius Blacks name got gasps from people was more concerned about a poof running around the school. One who seemed to spend to much time watching him. One who seemed to make excuses to have {what he hoped was not the case} "alone" time with him.

"Did Sirius black kill peter and the muggles?" Harry had lost the thread a bit and his head shot up as he heard Richard ask the question.

"No Pettigrew killed the muggles then hid. " Snape knew he was in trouble now as he had just confessed to allowing a pure-blood to rot in Azkaban.

" You mean Sirius black is innocent and Pettigrew is alive ?". The court held it's breath "yes to both " were is Pettigrew and how did he get there was he helped ?" .

Snape tried but couldn't help himself "the Veritaserum is wearing off "

After more Veritaserum was given he answered "Pettigrew went to Dumbledore after the Potter brat hurt the dark lord and begged for help said he was under the imperious and after that Dumbledore took him to the Weasly family and left him there." A gasp went through the court house a head of a noble house was in Azkaban for nothing. He's not at my house we just live there my mum and dad they would never let a traitor into our house ."

The eyes shot to Ron Weasley who looked scared.

Richard saw this as a good time to drop good old Dumbles in it again "So the Headmaster the great Albus Dumbledore has helped in an innocent man going to jail? How is it that **THE** Weasley family a family **KNOWN** as **LIGHT** say he is not there? Why is he there? I heard he had an order of merlin for trying to get Black "

Snape was forced to answer "he is an illegal animagus his form is a rat he tells Dumbledore and me what is happening at the ministry when he over hears the Weasley family talk at home he he also can go around the school undetected and spy's on the students for us. He is one off the reasons the Weasley twins can not prank me or Albus. His rat form is known as Scabbers."

This caused an uproar and Amelia quickly motioned to some of her Aurors. Auror's were sent to the Weasley home to apprehend Scabbers while more were sent to get Sirius Black out of Azkaban .

The twins found their voices "I bet that's how the greasy git found out about our pranks on his precious Slytherin." Richard noted as the twins said this something flickered across Snape's face and knew he just knew there was more he hadn't got his reputation by holding scout meetings so he asked "How did you two know of pranks when the Peter was not around?"

Snape spoke as sweat started to roll down his face he really did not want to answer this "no I use _Legilimens _for that ". the shark circled closer. He needed clarification on this but going by Amelia's look this would be a coffin nail for him to hammer into Snape's casket. "what is _Legilimens?"_

Snape gulped he knew he was going to Azkaban "it is were a person uses magic to read another's mind"

"You use _Legilimens _on students do you ask their permission or there guardians?". Snape was screwed now as pure-bloods would not want any secrets taken from there child's heads "yes I do it to nearly all connected children and no I **never** ask permission."

The shark moved ever closer "who's child in this court room have you read that is the most influential?"

"Susan bones I found out were her aunt keeps her important papers and also " a spell hit him stunning him then another and another parents were not happy .

Amelia discreetly hid her wand before any one could see she had hit Snape with the first spell "_that teach the scum sucking pig"_ she thought to herself as the Aurors pulled him away and dragged him into a side room. Even though some influential people were shouting to bring him back.

Snape awoke with a wild headache and aches all over (he didn't know it but the Aurors had dropped him several times. It seemed it was hard to hold the _Mobilicorpus _spell {_it is a spell used to float people who are unable to walk_} spell and talk at the same time.) Most lifted people waist height the Aurors decided ceiling height.

Snape groaned and tried to remember where he was and why he was there he was sure it was Potters fault.

He had got orders from Dumbledore to grab harry and keep him away from the Squibs until.

He remembered he had seen Harry and the Squibs leave the ministry and head towards Diagon alley he had got ahead of them and then stunned the squibs behind Harry after Harry had gone through into Diagon Alley he then had closed the portal so the Squibs couldn't follow him. He should have remembered how the headmaster had been disarmed as it seemed Harry hadn't he had brought his foot as hard as he could up and between Snape's legs Snape had folded like a cheap deckchair. Then he remembered the holding cell and "bugger the court case he was screwed and come to think off it as he tried to remember it more they had said Potter was a part owner of the school.

Had to update as getting update soon we will find out where you live messages. Its why it missing that extra ha ha element. 


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